My Own Worst Enemy
by GoWaitInTheCar
Summary: Jason Todd's life is unfair. Why can't anyone just understand? Why is Tim Drake, his replacement, the only one who can make his anger and pain go away? Why did he run away from the only person who could save him? Because he's afraid of love. Now its time to come back to Gotham and face his fears.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Much to my boyfriend's disapproval, I am so in love with the thought of Jason Todd and Tim Drake becoming lovers or Dick and Jason, it doesn't matter. Robin love all around. Please leave a review! I do not own any of the mentioned DC characters.

_**Italic/bold**_ is a dream sequence.

_Italic_ is a memory unless noted differently.

_ **Before him stood Robin, the teenage protege of Batman. The iconic colors boldly contrasting against the Dark Knight's. Criminals and the madmen of Gotham feared the Bat but although Robin was often seen as a weakling in comparison, he was still a challenge. One day, a Robin could don the cowl and fight the insanity of Gotham. And if there were a weak spot in the Batman's facade, Robin would always be that cinch in the black armor that couldn't protect even the heart of Bruce Wayne from feeling the loss. Robin didn't say a word, just slowly sized up Jason before taking a battle stance. Jason smirked, flicking his thumb against his nose and beckoning Robin to come at him.**_

Blocking the light with his hands, Jason sat up, sweat beads rolling down the back of his neck. Gotham was under a heat wave and the safe house wasn't equipped with an air conditioner. Trying to sleep during the day was hard but it was the only way to beat the heat and to hide from the darkness. He mentally noted to buy and install one if he was going to stay here any longer.

The bathroom light flickered with repeated buzzing before finally staying on. In the mirror, Jason's dark blonde hair was half wet with sweat, half sticking up in odd directions. The Robin in his dreams had black hair. It had been years since he dyed his hair black like Richard Grayson's. He did it to keep the image, to become -The- Robin. The red mask he wore now, the new Jason Todd, didn't need to hold up any image except that he meant business. He was going to clean up Gotham once and for all. None of this no-killing bullshit Bruce preached was going to make the streets safer. Better to kill the vermin than contain it. No one was going to change his mind. He suffered first hand the depths of madness Gotham possessed. He had told himself one death was enough. He was going to die here again. Jason splashed cold water on his face and ran his wet fingers through his hair, smoothing back the white streak in his bangs.

His shoulder was swollen and it hurt to lift his arm but it was a pain that had to be ignored. Last night a thug got an open hit on him with a lead pipe. His skin was dark blue and green where it hit. Jason's blue eyes looked up from his shoulder and like every morning; the young child who watched his drug addicted mother shoot up, the young thief who was offered a second chance by the Batman, the enthusiastic and reckless teenage Robin, the mid-twenty angry dead man before him all shared the same piercing blue eyes. He was one man versus Gotham, one man versus even the good guys. The odds had never been in his favor. Bruce treated him as some prodigal child. Dick tried to be civil but like brothers, they couldn't always get along. Damien, the only biological child of Bruce Wayne, called him the weak Robin. They all couldn't understand the bitterness and the anger that coursed through him. Not one of them could just.. you know, _understand_. Except Timothy Drake. Except his fucking replacement. The one person he treated like shit, tried killing more than once, was different. The one person he least expected to treat him like he was still apart of the family, Tim was the only person who bothered to try to understand.

.../...

"You're still having your Robin dream?" Barbara asked.

Barbara looked from her computer screen at her younger "brother." His dreams were strange, but she knew there was a deeper meaning to this phantom Robin appearing. It could have so many meanings for Jason but only he could figure it out himself. If he knew, he certainly wasn't sharing.

Nodding briefly, he changed the subject. She knew not to pry. Jason would open up when he was ready. This is how it had been since they started these chats. It wasn't just therapeutic for him but for her as well. You could call it a Joker Support Group for former Robins. The chats weren't as often as they had been since he took off five years ago without a word but upon coming back, he just showed up as if he had been a few minutes late. She didn't expect him to come back to Gotham. There was nothing here for him that he wanted. '_Except for him'_, she thought.

From behind Jason, a harsh voice pierced through the relaxed chit chat, "What are you doing here?"

"I thought Babs could use company. We were gonna for a run later."

Babs gave Jason a glare but she knew he wasn't saying it to be cruel to her. It was meant to be a stab at Dick.

"Shut your mouth"

Smirking, Jason got up, surrendering his hands. "I'm leaving anyway. Got justice to do" Jason kissed Barbara's cheek before putting on his red helmet.

"See you later, -DICK-" Jason saluted him as he left.

Dick gave Barbara a stern look.

"Oh, don't gimme that look."

"Jason is nothing but trouble. What could you two possibly talk about?"

She let out a defeated sigh, "You wouldn't understand, Dick"

"Babs, I love you. I may not get it but you can talk to me about anything"

Richard was sincere. He always was. She knew there was nothing he wouldn't do for her but she couldn't yet find the words to express how she felt about everything that had happened. From keeping up with Nightwing and Batman to losing the ability to walk, finding a purpose in her life again after experiencing so much as Batgirl, she still couldn't express her emotions about it. With Jason, he knew. They didn't have to talk about it to understand each other. It's what had bonded them. She hated Joker just as much as him. There were times she wished she could kill him for destroying their lives.

"I love you too but there are some things you can't fix. Jason and I have more in common than you think." Barbara wheeled away from her computer, stopping to look back at her tall lover, "And you have so little faith in him that it hurts me. He's your brother and he still needs you."

Dick sighed, looking down, feeling ashamed.


	2. Chapter 2

"_What is this?"_

"_Inoculation"_

"_From?"_

"_The lastest version of Fear Toxin"_

_Jason smirked, "Does Daddy know you're sharing this with me?"_

"_Why wouldn't I? You're still family. Just a.. cut throat, arrogant, black sheep."_

"_Heh. I prefer charming, realistic, dependable and insanely gorgeous."_

_Tim smiled, shaking his head. "Despite your way, we need you. You have a place here, a home, a family. Family looks out for each other."_

_Jason picked at the dry skin on his hand, "We..?"_

_Tim placed the bandaid on Jason's arm, his fingers finding any excuse to stay on him, to keep a physical connection. "You know, I have forgiven you for everything you did to me. I get it. I would have been angry and bitter too, being brutally murdered. I probably would of done the same things. But knowing you now, I know that's not who Jason Todd is. They'll come around too. You just have to give them time."_

"_What if that's the real me? All this 'bro' stuff we got going on is just an act"_

"_I don't believe that. I've seen the look in your eyes when you wanted to kill me. Never have you looked at me like that since. I trust you and I hope you trust me too. If you do, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, Jason. I believe you're a good man deep down in there."_

"_Heh.. would you believe that is actually the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me? Next funeral I want you to say that."_

…_../..._

The night was crisp, a cold breeze swept through the cement jungle of Gotham. The leaves had started to turn orange and red but Jason had not noticed. Inside his red helmet, the bluetooth picked up the Police scanner from his phone. The night was looking pretty calm but he knew that would never be the case. Gotham was never slept. Crime had no bed time. Hearing a shatter of glass and an alarm sounding, Jason grinned. Good ol' Gotham.

Four men in black were smashing the glass counters of the Gotham's Fine Jewelry and Pawn, ransacking the trays of rings and anything they would get their hands on. Glass shards crunched under his boot as he tightened his gloves. They didn't notice his presence which already annoyed him. He used to own these streets. Now these low lifes couldn't even acknowledge him. Whatever came their way, they deserved it.

"I got this" came a voice next to him. Jason's eyes widened. His heart had been racing from being excited about to kick some ass but his heart felt like it had tried to escape from his chest. If they could see him in this moment, he would of looked like a forlorn lover.

"Finder's keepers" said Jason almost whispered, trying to regain his cool demeanor. Timothy Drake's Red Robin garb made them look like partners, all red and black. The four men looked up finally and froze. Drake waved at them as Jason cocked his guns.

He didn't expect the kid to show up. Hell, he practically avoided him. Understandably too. Things didn't end well before Jason had took off from Gotham. Jason wanted to see Tim again. Talk to him, tell him about his journey that lead him back to where it all began, to hold him and feel his hands on his own body once again. He called Tim a couple weeks after returning but once he heard Jason's voice, he hung up and blocked him.

Brandishing a gun, Tim twisted a thug's arm back, a pop sounding and a yell of pain as Tim threw him against the wall. Jason kicked another thug in the stomach, sending him into the broken glass display case. Tim was faster, stronger, bigger. He wasn't a teenager anymore. Jason watched Tim move and suddenly he felt more sad. Timothy Drake grew up and perhaps Jason Todd had no place in his life anymore.

The thugs were tied to the light pole together as police sirens could be heard getting closer. Tim started up the fire escape with Jason in tow.

"It's been pretty slow tonight. Could we tal-"

"You patrol the south end of town and I'll get the North." Tim cut him off before he could get another word in.

"Yeah.. ok. That's fine but I would really like to talk to you. Just for a minute"

"I really have nothing to say to you" 'Liar!'

"You don't have to say anything. Just listen. That's it"

"You've gotten taller"

"A lot happened in 5 years"

"I know. I heard. I'm sorry about Connor."

Drake stiffened, looking back to glare at Jason.

"Tim.. I.."

"Don't say his name! And don't think an apology will change the fact that you abandoned me. You're _Red Hood_ and I'm _Red Robin_. That is all we have left between us. We have nothing to say to each other." Tim gripped his staff so tight, his knuckles were white.

"I'll get the south then.."

There was so much he wanted to say but he knew now wasn't the time. Now had been a mistake to try.

…..\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\...

As Tim boredly browsed through GCPD confidential files, his wrapped fist tucked under his chin. He was exhausted but his frustration and anger had kept him awake. He didn't know what he was looking for. Anything to take his mind off Jason but he couldn't focus on anything but.

"What happened to your hand?" Bruce asked as he sipped his coffee, leaning on the large chair Tim occupied.

"Relieved some stress is all" Tim replied, never taking his eyes off the screen.

"Should have Alfred take a look at it. You're starting to bleed through the gauze"

"It's fine, Bruce. Really."

"Perhaps you should take the night off. You've haven't taken a break in weeks. It'll do your body good to rest"

"Gotham doesn't sleep"

"Hmph. While I admire your sense of justice for Gotham's plight, I can't help to wonder if your bashed fist have anything to do with Jason coming back"

Tim ignored Bruce, continuing to browse. Bruce knew he was right but Tim had no energy to argue.

"I take it you saw him last night finally?"

"Bruce, I really don't want to talk about this with you. You don't like talking about him and I know you don't approve of what we did together so please, let it go"

"It's not what you think. I have my reasons about Jason. He is dangerous and he's tried killing you. Whatever you had going with him, whether you were dating or not, was a bad idea to get involved with him. I didn't want him to break the faith you had in him. He left you, Tim. He broke something in you and Connor couldn't fill it. I only want you to be happy."

"_Jason is unstable and unpredictable. He's nothing like the men you're used to. Never face him alone. Do you understand?" _Bruce's voice rang through his head. 5 years ago and he was still saying the same thing. Why couldn't he of just listened to Bruce then and met Connor sooner? Why did this ache never stop? Damn Jason to the hell he crawled from.


End file.
